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Dang, missed again

OK, I understand the odds of drawing an Michigan elk tag. Even with five chances this year, my odds were one in don't-even-think-about-it-chump.

Still, whenever I go to the DNR Web site to check the drawing, my reaction is the same.

I start out thinking -- KNOWING -- there's not a snowball's chance I drew a tag.

But by the time I punch in my driver's license number and get ready to hit the "submit query" button, I'm practically giddy with the hope that maybe, just maybe, this is my year.

S-U-C-K-E-R....

If you're one of the lucky few, congratulations.

The rest of us, we'll be back. Next year I'll have SIX chances...

Category: Fishing

Egads! They're cleaning fish on CNN!

Is this what we've come to?

The CNN video opens with this disclaimer: "This report contains graphic content. Viewer discretion is advised."

Oh my, what could it be? Horrible images from a war zone? Brutality of innocent people?

Ah, no. This graphic content shows ... some guys cleaning fish. The story was about an East Coast shark tournament, and the video showed the fish being sliced open and turned into steaks.

Yep, that's it. The same thing we all watched our dads and grandpas do hundreds of times as children, and done that many times ourselves. It's what we do when we want the fish we catch to land on a plate.

But apparently that's just too much to ask of this insulated society, where nature interacts in HD and meat was never part of a living, breathing animal, just a slab on a styrofoam strip.

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Category: Wildlife

Wolf plan sure to stir controversy

Remember the mourning dove?

You know, the drab little bird with the tasty breasts that we can't hunt in Michigan?

Even though the vast majority of them fly to Ohio and Indiana to get shot at?

And they reproduce so furiously that they cheerfully withstand 70-percent mortality rates and come back strong year after year?

And never mind that the Humane Society of the United States, the world's most fervent anti-hunting group, bamboozled Michigan voters into ignoring the science about doves with a misinformation campaign loaded with hogwash about people shooting birds too small to eat (ever try a shrimp?) off their backyard feeders.

Because you ain't seen nothin' yet.

Next month the Natural Resources Commission is expected to approve the draft of the DNR's wolf management plan, in anticipation of wolves coming off the state's endangered species list later this summer.

Some 500 wolves roam the U.P. these days, up from roughly none as recently as the 1980s. In my view it's a remarkable comeback story about an opportunistic predator exploiting a huge, available ecosystem. Very cool.

But now they need to be managed. The plan is heavily focused on understanding wolves and maintaining the wolf population while minimizing conflict with humans and livestock. Most everyone involved agrees with that strategy.

But one section of the plan will raise a furor that could make the mourning dove argument look like an afternoon tea:

"Develop and Implement a Socially and Biologically Responsible Policy Regarding Public Harvest of Wolves."

Under the management plan, wolves will likely be killed. But it distinguishes between harvesting wolves to reduce conflict and harvesting wolves for other reasons, which essentially means "for fun and profit."

And here, at long last, is my point. The folks who dumped millions of dollars into keeping the ho-hum mourning dove off the list of game species will certainly back up the Brinks truck to prevent killing large, charismatic predators like the gray wolf.

The state has not indicated that there will be recreational wolf hunting any time soon. But those who oppose hunting will not draw any distinction between recreational hunting and wolf management.

To them killing animals is bad, period. Science is to be ignored. Ecosystems come in second-to-last place, ahead of only impact on humans. Balance? Pff. And no argument is too shrill, too venomous or too devoid of truth to make their case.

Brace yourself. It's going to get loud.

Category: Fishing

Help keep VHS in check

The DNR is asking anglers to help keep viral hemmorhagic septicimia (VHS) in check this summer. Considering the devastation that incurable disease could wreak on our fish populations, that's not asking much.

It's this simple:

-- Don't move water. When you leave a lake or river, empty the live well and the bilge. Disinfect the live well with a half-cup of bleach per five gallons of water before the boat is launched on another body of water.

-- Don't move fish. Dump out leftover minnows away from the water; emptying it into the lake is illegal. Certified VHS-free minnows are widely available and can be used anywhere. If you catch your own or buy uncertified ones, keep them where they came from.

Category: Fishing

Smallmouth deaths likely from spawning stress, fishing pressure

A friend who lives on Lake St. Clair reports that he saw 35 dead smallmouth bass in several hours on the lake last night.

The Lake St. Clair message boards suggest he's not the only one.

But Mike Thomas, a biologist at the DNR's Lake St. Clair Fisheries Research Station, says that's not enough dead fish to suggest a disease outbreak.

More likely: The combination of spawning stress and fishing pressure.

"They get pretty stressed at (spawning) time," Thomas said. "There's a lot of fishing going on right now, too. That adds to the stress and sometimes they die."

Bass are extremely protective of their spawning beds, which is one of the reasons the fishing is so good in May and June: They are programmed to strike anything that comes near.

Sometimes the fight is just too much for weakened fish.

Thomas added that similar low-level die-offs have gone on periodically for many years.

Category: Deer hunting

Only hunters can fix Michigan's out-of-whack herd

My friend Bob hunts Wexford County in the northwestern Lower Peninsula.

His 2007 hunt looked like this: 22 does, zero bucks and nothing killed. That's because last year there were no antlerless tags issued for Wexford.

So he's delighted that this year the Natural Resources Commissions added Wexford to the list of counties where antlerless tags will be issued in 2008.

For one thing, even if he bats a thousand on does again this year, he'll be able to fill the freezer. But more importantly, it will give him and other hunters a chance to do something that was clearly needed: Manage the herd.

It has become a familiar refrain in large chunks of Michigan: There are just too many deer.

Now, we can poke fun at the silly three-point/four-point rules that make no sense and even less difference, or we can grouse about the state's unwillingness to adopt Quality Deer Management practices.

But what we really need is a cultural shift. We talk about the need to shoot does, but we hold out for bucks.

The does walk, make more babies, of which the does walk to make more babies, and pretty soon the herd is so out of whack there are swaths of private property where no plant survives within six feet of the ground.

And car-deer crashes mount. And guys like Bob go an entire season without seeing a single buck.

Whether you support QDM or not doesn't matter much. We need a better-balanced deer herd, period.

The Natural Resources Commission can make all the rules in the world, but we're the ones with the weapons.

And this problem isn't going away until we aim them at the deer without the antlers.

And fire.

Category: Deer hunting

Proposed U.P. buck rule isn't honest

Changes to antlerless regulations?

Check.

Add albino and all-white deer to the list of animals that can be hunted legally?

Check.

Make substantive, measurable changes to buck regulations in response to the growing number of hunters who want to let little bucks walk so they can improve their chances of hunting mature bucks?

Uh, no. Not even close.

The Natural Resources Commission meets tomorrow to nail down the 2008 deer regulations. One measure on the table would require the purchaser of a combo deer tag who hunts in the U.P. to essentially shoot a six-point (at least three on one side) with the regular license, and an eight-point (at least four on one side) with the restricted license.

Michigan DNR big game specialist Rod Clute explains:

"Our survey results indicate that deer hunters are interested in increasing the number of mature bucks in the deer herd," Clute said in a press release issued Tuesday. "This suggestion was proposed as a possible way to decrease the harvest of one and one-half year-old bucks to build a herd with an older age structure."

Sounds good in theory. But look closer: It's just sleight of hand.

The key term here is "combination license." There's nothing to prevent a hunter from buying an archery tag separately, shooting a spike, then buying a gun tag separately, then shooting another spike.

All legal, of course. And if that's your type of hunting, enjoy.

But restricting the restriction to the combo license basically makes it voluntary. Which is what it is now.

Guys who want little bucks to walk let them walk. Guys who want to shoot them, shoot them.

Just like they will if this proposal is enacted.

I'm no biologist. I don't pretend to understand all the ins and outs of deer management.

But sometimes I can tell when I'm being tricked.

This proposal makes it sound like rules have changed, but would change nothing.

Pretending it will is disingenuous at best.

Category: Hunting

The most important lesson

My daughter Natalie said the magic words:

"It's weird holding a lethal weapon."

Yeah, she really said it. In those words.

It was her first hunt as a shooter. Sure, she's been along, but only as a spectator. A buddy. Along for the ride, but still not in.

The quarry was turkey. Her weapon was a 20-gauge shotgun. We came close that day, but didn't connect.

And yet her 11-year-old mind made an even greater connection.

She recognized something different about holding the weapon and being prepared to shoot it.

It's what separates us from folks who just like the woods. Rather than watch, we take part by inserting ourselves into the food chain.

The act of taking an animal's life is a serious matter, and it comes with an immense responsibility.

This is hard to explain to non-hunters, but I believe as a species we are hard-wired to do it. The proof is in that inexplicably primal surge of adrenaline we feel when we raise our weapon and aim it at another living creature.

My hunting friends and I talk about that a lot. That feeling can be overwhelming, and just doesn't exist anywhere else in modern daily life. There's almost a sense of pity for those who never experience it, but you can't tell that to people.

They either get it or they don't. Most, unfortunately, don't.

Natalie's right. It is different. It is weird.

She recognizes its power.

And I couldn't ask for more.

Category: Hunting

Elk, bear applications due

If you're one of the masochists who insist on trying for the one-in-a-jigajillion chance at a Michigan elk tag -- and I am one myself -- you'd better hurry.

The deadline for applying is Sunday (June 1), which is a change from past years when the application period was in July.

Of the 35,000-plus applicants, 330 will get a Michigan elk tag this year.

I'm hoping the change in application period catches a few people off guard. OK, more than a few. Like, say, 35,000.

(By the way, bear applications are due Sunday, too.)

Category: Great Lakes

WIsconsin joins water compact

Five down, three to go.

That's the status of the Great Lakes Water Compact after Wisconsin Gov. Jim Doyle signed it into law Tuesday.

That leaves Michigan, Ohio and Pennsylvania as the Great Lakes states who haven't signed the compact. Once they do, the compact will go before the U.S. Congress for ratification. When that happens it will be a heck of a lot harder to suck large quantities of water out of the Great Lakes for, say, watering Phoenix golf courses or slaking the thirst of hordes who didn't have the good sense to stay out of the desert.

All three remaining states appear to be moving toward passage of the compact. In Michigan there are dueling House and Senate versions, and someone will need to decide which one makes the final cut.

They're down to the details of how much water can be taken out of the ground, who has rights to it and such. I'm told the places where the bills differ are so miniscule they're scientifically unmeasurable.

As silly as that sounds, it's ultimately good news they're that close.