Parents
A single national civil rights events to welcome not just to honor the Equal Parenting Bike Trekkers but to receive individuals, organizations, agencies, and associations to take their messages to Congress that there should be a greater respect for parents and parenthood! A splendid idea. All the official information is located at http://www.dcfestival2008.com.
Parents
Link to the following and leave a comment
http://proteinwisdom.com/?p=12570
Everybody should know what is happening to the Parents in America
today. The http://www.dcfestival2008.com is where you should go to
learn more. And with the information take it one step further and tell
everyone.(here is how)
1. Click here or enter the following in your browser:
http://www3.capwiz.com/y/dbq/media.
2. Enter your zip code. Uncheck the "Show national media in results,"
option and hit "GO."
NOTE: DO NOT click on "Select a State" and do not click on the map to view
by state (if you do, all the media within your state will
unnecessarily appear
and overburden you).
3. Select five media outlets.
4. Click on "Compose Message." Copy and Paste the text of the letter
to the editor.
5. Enter your contact information. Click on "Send Message."
6. Repeat the process for five more media outlets in your area.
Conderidge !!
You have Finally , Expierenced the Norm !
Your Article was concise and followed a Very
Realistic Story Line !
The sad part is that it is NOT a story line , but
rather a statement of Fact that Recurr's thousands of
times each day!
For all your Verbal skills , this is an expierence
that is Impossible to Communicate to another Human Being.
You must go thru the the System , to Appreciate the fact
that "A Dad is Not Considered a Necessary Part of a
Family !" Humilating , isn't it !
The Death of Another Family , in Michigan ! And it
Truly feels like someone has died ! But it just goes on
and on ! Been there , done that .
Thank You.
Father's Day
Has anybody given or received a Tie for Father's Day? or is that tradition gone for good?
Father's Day
Thanks so much. That really meant a lot.
Fathers rights
I noticed many of the comments on this board about how men get screwed from the courts and FOC. I have gone through it myself and wanted to comment.
First off, I was stupid to get married in the first place. Nobody taught me anything about marriage. If I knew then what I know now, I would never have got married. Im paying $203 a week for one child and my ex expects me to help him with his homework, pick him up from school, feed him after school etc...
I have come to the conclusion that it is time for us older men to teach the younger ones the penalties of marriage if your a male. If someone would have sat me down when I was 17 or 18 and explained all the disadvantages of being married I seriously would have gave it a second thought.
I am not a woman hater. I just think that woman have way too many rights. My wife was caught cheating and the courts award her with half of everything. My marriage and divorce set me back 15 years and I definetly cannot afford to lose half again if I want to retire.
Ive allready had talks with my Son at age 13 about marriage. As he gets older, I hope to educate him on all the disadvantages and penalties the legal system does to men. With this knowledge, I hope that if he decides to marry later in life that he will make a better choice on whom he marrys. The one big thing I have allready taught him is that the woman should have as much to lose as he does financial wise. That evens the playing field.
Father's Day
Aaron, happy birthday today to your dad. As you know, he's gone in some ways but he very much lives on in you and your son and many others I'm sure. He sounds like a very loving man. Thank you for a wonderful, hearfelt entry that reminded me of how much we all have in common as dads. My own father's next birthday would have been his 69th, and a week from Sunday will be bittersweet.
We read on this blog about people whose parenting situations are different from our own, whose struggles don't mimic ours, whose styles are not like ours, whose attitudes may seem foreign to us, but there is SO much more that we share.
The joy of a kind and depth of love we could never have imagined before we had kids, the "AHA" moments, like you described, when we finally understand how our dads (and moms) felt, the mixed emotions at seeing our kids grow up so quickly, the pride and puzzlement they bring us, these are all things that every dad knows and feels. I hope that when we share with each other in this forum or any other, we can remember those common bonds that cross every other categorizing line we can imagine. As Larry Herren so eloquently reminded us, a daddy's love is universal. It is also a powerful unifier.
Do The Courts Care?
Conderidge,
It grieves me to hear yet one more story of a parent being burdened in their effort to provide the time needed for their child to have the love and guidance they long for and need from both fit parents. Let me assure you of something that I know and understand as both a dad, and a long time Masters Level Family and Adolescent Mental Health Treatment Professional; while it might be "normal" as in we see a lot of children who protest having to leave one parent to return for parenting time with the other parent, it is anything but clinically normal, or emotionally healthy that a child is tearfully crying because he doesn't have the time he longs for with one of his parents. There is a certain frequency in time needed to support a quality of parenting and to otherwise support and maintain a whole and complete relationship with BOTH parents.
I don't know the background of your case, or the grounds that Oakland Family Court has used to rationalize such rigged and limited parenting time but I've witnessed, and experienced for myself, how uncaring and gender bias they can be. On the other hand, I can also tell you that your Judge, given you noted the Family Counselor to be Elaine Bryant I'm assuming your Judge is Martha Andersen, has proven to be someone who will not simply rubber stamp what the FOC recommends. Further, her orders over more recent months have reflected an increased understanding that children have an equally important need for both parents and she has maintained a more balanced and fair approach in rendering orders that provide the time needed for both parents to participate in real elements of parenting.
There's any number of Family Law Attorneys out there who will simply take your money and bring your case to a close, as fast as they can and with no regard for what life lasting impact their lack of efforts have on you or your children's lives. But there are also Family Law Attorneys who understand the law, as it relates to your rights as a parent, and will represent you with integrity and passion. I have such an attorney and I would encourage you to check out the Website of "Dads of Michigan" to learn more about how you can educate your self to choose this type of attorney and how to more effectively navigate through the system.
Welcome to the site and press on Conderidge, life is a marathon and while it feels like your way behind, the race has only started. It's a daily thing and your son needs you, daily, to be healthy, consistent and to clearly reflect you love him. Those are qualities that are completely up to us and that no one can take away. And as a man of God you already understand that those qualities will keep your son gravitating back for more and that in the end the truth, God's truth, comes to light and defends it self.
A Daddy's Love
Larry,
You illustrate what every Dad knows... our Love for our children is as vast as the universe... as deep as the ocean... and as diverse as each and everyone of us and our own particular circumstances.
D.J. is lucky to have you as his Dad.. and I know he knows it.Thanks
shared custody
I AGREE WITH THE GENTELMAN THAT IS TAKING THE BIKE RIDE TO D.C. FOR THERE TO BE A LAW ABOUT JOINT CUSTODY OF CHILDREN IN SOME CASES IT MAY NOT BE A GOOD IDEA BUT I LOOK AT WHAT MY SON IS GOING THRU RIGHT NOW AND I'M SO HURT BECAUSE WE HAVE BEEN IN MY GRANDSON'S LIFE SINCE THE DAY HE WAS BORN. NOW HIS MOTHER WON'T LET MY SON SEE HIM AND WE HAVE TO GO THRU THE COURT WHICH WILL TAKE ABOUT 3 MONTHS BEFORE HE EVEN GETS A HEARING DATE AND ALSO THE COURTS CHARGE FOR EVERYTIME YOU HAVE TO FILE PAPERS. GOOD LUCK AND I'LL BE PRAYING FOR YOU
Co-Parenting
Amen to the comments posted below by 41fan. And I have to say, as common sense might otherwise cause one to assume, statistics for divorce rates in those states where shared parenting awards tend to be more the norm have significantly dropped and are generally lower than in states where shared parenting awards are not the norm, how ironic.
It doesn't take a sociologist or sophisticated training to understand that when power is evenly distributed, it tends to be less abused. I recall the words, I'll never forget them, of a very wise psychologist who told me that I would never be treated with authority in my parental role until I was able to achieve some; I experienced his words to be correct. This matter of shared parenting legislation is no different, when parents have incentive to work on their marriage, because in divorce things are going to remain close to the same vs. one parent having all of the control, parenting, financially and otherwise, there becomes less incentive to get divorced.
Most people understand that children need the healthy and active parenting of BOTH parents but understanding it, even educating people to better understand it in and of it self not enough. Law is what we live by because there remains far too many who without law will not do what they otherwise don't want to or don't have to. If shared parenting is truly what children need then why have we failed so miserably in securing it for willing and able parents? I couldn't agree more that it does in deed start with us, the parents, but why we continue with a system that can so easily be manipulated to frustrate and even block another fit and willing parents efforts to be an equal part of their children's lives is the question we need to hold our courts and legislators accountable to answer, and to create a fix for because what we presently have is clearly broken and outdated.
Apology
Sorry about the double posting regarding the joint custody issue--it was totally a mistake.
Co-Parenting
Responsibility
I have been reading the comments/stories and reports re: child custody and nowhere have I seen any word about responsibility except when it alludes to the FOC. How about IF people would remain committed to their marriage vows---IF people would refrain from over-indulging in alcohol and drugs--IF people would stop abusing one another--IF people would stop abusing their children--IF people would put PARENTING before "girls night out", baseball, poker with the guys, softball, strip clubs, "just hangin with the guys", the biggies--"other" men and "other" women and on and on and on.I know that problems exist in marriage, but in the long run, it would make life easier---so much easier for children AND their parents, IF the parents would think about all the problems and horrors they are going to face--IF they don't at least TRY to work on their marriages before they seek an attorney.
I understand there are problems with the Court system, lousy Judges, greedy attorneys, but the responsibility lies WITH THE PARENTS initially. I know there are exceptions, but there are thousands, yes thousands of cases where the fault lies with the parents. Trust me, I KNOW>
Responsibility
I have been reading the comments/stories and reports re: child custody and nowhere have I seen any word about responsibility except when it alludes to the FOC. How about IF people would remain committed to their marriage vows---IF people would refrain from over-indulging in alcohol and drugs--IF people would stop abusing one another--IF people would stop abusing their children--IF people would put PARENTING before "girls night out", baseball, poker with the guys, softball, strip clubs, "just hangin with the guys", the biggies--"other" men and "other" women and on and on and on.I know that problems exist in marriage, but in the long run, it would make life easier---so much easier for children AND their parents, IF the parents would think about all the problems and horrors they are going to face--IF they don't at least TRY to work on their marriages before they seek an attorney.
I understand there are problems with the Court system, lousy Judges, greedy attorneys, but the responsibility lies WITH THE PARENTS initially. I know there are exceptions, but there are thousands, yes thousands of cases where the fault lies with the parents. Trust me, I KNOW>
Mitch Albom SHow
Robert, YOUR THE MAN!!! Detroit News, Mitch's show what's next maybe Oprah. Keep going strong. We all thank you. I sent an email in to Mitch tonight even before the show telling him about how this is such an important subject and how it should be a whole show that people want to hear about this.
